I’m really close to my best friend. Apparently we’re too close. In class today a colleague asked me if the chair next to me was occupied by Kristy (my BFF). I told him it wasn’t.

“Contrary to popular belief, we are individuals with separate lives. We do things independently of each other you know!”

“Oh sure” he says, “I should be asking you two for relationship advice. You seem to be doing pretty well.”

“Uhh… We’re not… Together.”

“Oh.”

Yesterday, a girlfriend and I went to Adonis and bought a rotisserie chicken which we took down to the pier. We sat on the rocks dangling our feet over the water, tearing the carcass apart with our bare hands. That’s right friends, I ate a whole chicken. With my hands. In public. Who wouldn’t want this?!

So I was with some friends chatting about this and that, life and school, beer and relationships etc etc, and I made a comment that caused one of them to tell me that if I wrote a memoir, the title would be “Reasons Why I’m Single”. Thanks friend. The comment that started it all?

“Even if I had a boyfriend, I don’t know where I would put him. I have a single bed covered in stuffed animals.”